Building Trust with Skeptics
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Why People Don't Trust
Derek thinks insurance is a scam. He's not alone.
A recent Gallup poll found that insurance agents rank near the bottom for honesty and ethics — just above car salespeople and members of Congress.
Why does this happen?
Three reasons people distrust insurance (and salespeople in general):
Past bad experiences
Derek's truck was totaled. The company said it was worth $8K when he knew it was worth $14K. That memory doesn't fade.
Complexity feels like a trick
When people don't understand something, they assume they're being taken advantage of.
The pitch feels inevitable
Every interaction feels like it's leading to a sale. People are tired of being sold to.
The Key Insight
Trust isn't built by convincing someone they're wrong. It's built in small moments — when you listen instead of pitch, when you acknowledge instead of defend, when you're honest about what you can and can't do.
What this means for you
When Derek says "insurance is a scam," he's not asking you to prove him wrong. He's testing whether you're different from everyone else who's tried to sell him something.
Practice Moment
Derek says: "You guys collect premiums for years, then deny claims when people actually need help."
Which response builds more trust?
"That's not how we operate. Let me explain our claims process..."
"You're not wrong that it happens. What happened to you?"
B is better.
It validates his experience instead of defending the industry. Now he knows you're not going to BS him.
Key Takeaway
Trust starts with validation, not persuasion. Make them feel heard before you try to be helpful.
The Validation Technique
The instinct that hurts you
When someone criticizes insurance (or you), the instinct is to defend:
- "That's not true for all companies..."
- "Let me explain why that happened..."
- "Actually, our claims process is..."
This instinct makes sense. But it backfires.
Why defending doesn't work: When you defend, the other person hears: "You're wrong, and I'm going to tell you why." That's not a conversation. That's a fight.
The validation technique
Instead of defending, validate first. Then get curious.
The Formula
Acknowledge + Ask
Examples:
❌ DEFENSIVE
"That's not how we do things."
✓ VALIDATING
"That's frustrating. Tell me what happened."
❌ DEFENSIVE
"Not all insurance companies are like that."
✓ VALIDATING
"You're right that some companies do that. What was your experience?"
Why this works
It disarms
They expected you to fight. You didn't.
It shows respect
You're treating their experience as valid.
It gives you info
Now you know what you're actually dealing with.
Practice Moment
Derek says: "My last agent said everything would be covered, then when I needed to file a claim, there were all these exclusions nobody told me about."
Which response uses the Acknowledge + Ask formula?
"I always go over every exclusion with my clients before they sign. Let me show you how our process works."
"That's exactly the kind of thing that makes people hate this industry. What happened with the claim?"
"Unfortunately that happens sometimes. But the good news is our policies are much clearer."
B is best.
It validates his frustration ("That's exactly the kind of thing...") AND asks to learn more ("What happened?"). A jumps straight to pitching. C validates weakly then pivots to selling.
Key Takeaway
Validation isn't agreement. It's acknowledgment. You can validate someone's experience without admitting the whole industry is broken.
Asking, Not Telling
The power of questions
Top insurance agents ask 21% more questions than average performers (according to Gong.io research on sales calls).
Why? Because questions do three things:
They show interest — You're curious about them, not just waiting to pitch
They surface the real issue — What they say first is rarely the whole story
They keep them talking — The more they talk, the more they trust
The "Tell me more" power move
The simplest question is often the best:
"Tell me more about that."
Derek: "I think insurance is a scam." You: "Tell me more about that." Now he's talking. You're learning. And you haven't pitched anything.
When to use questions
| When they... | Ask... |
|---|---|
| Make a broad statement | "What makes you say that?" |
| Share an experience | "What happened next?" |
| Seem skeptical | "What would need to be true for you to feel differently?" |
| You don't know what to say | "Tell me more." |
Practice Moment
Derek says: "I've been self-employed for 15 years and never needed insurance. Why would I start now?"
Rank these responses from best (1) to worst (3):
"Well, 15 years is impressive! But things change — what if a client got hurt on a job site?"
"15 years without needing it — that's a good track record. What made you take this meeting today?"
"Statistics show that contractors without insurance face significant financial risk. Let me share some data..."
Correct ranking: 2, 1, 3
Best (2): Acknowledges his point AND asks a question that surfaces his real motivation.
Middle (1): Good acknowledgment, but immediately pivots to a fear-based scenario.
Worst (3): No acknowledgment, jumps straight to telling with data.
Key Takeaway
Questions > statements for building trust. When in doubt, ask.
Matching Energy
Read the room
Derek is direct. Blue collar. No BS.
If you come at him with polish and sales speak, he'll shut down. He's testing whether you're "one of those salespeople."
Matching energy doesn't mean mimicking
It means:
- If they're direct, be direct
- If they're formal, be more formal
- If they're casual, relax
- If they're skeptical, don't be overly optimistic
How to match Derek's energy
❌ TOO POLISHED
"I really appreciate you sharing that with me, Derek. I want you to know that I'm committed to providing a different experience..."
✓ MATCHED
"You're not wrong. Some companies do that. I can't promise we're perfect, but I can tell you exactly what's covered and what's not before you sign anything."
Quick reference
| If they're... | You should... |
|---|---|
| Direct | Get to the point |
| Skeptical | Acknowledge doubts openly |
| Analytical | Offer specifics and data |
| Emotional | Lead with empathy |
| Quiet | Give space, ask open questions |
| Talkative | Listen more, talk less |
Practice Moment
Match each prospect type with the best response style:
Prospect: "Just give me the bottom line. What's this going to cost me?"
Prospect: "My brother-in-law just had a heart attack at 52. It's got me thinking about my family."
Prospect: "I've been researching term vs. whole life policies. Can you explain the cash value accumulation rates?"
Great job recognizing the cues!
The key is listening for HOW they communicate — are they rushed, emotional, or analytical? Match their style to build rapport faster.
Key Takeaway
People trust people who feel like them. Match their energy without losing yourself.
Module Complete!
You've completed Building Trust with Skeptics. Here's what you learned:
- Trust starts with validation, not persuasion
- Acknowledge before you respond
- Questions > statements
- Match their energy
Ready to earn this job?
Re-audition with Derek. Show Greenfield how much you've improved — that's your coachability in action.
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